My boyfriend, Blade, and I have been together going on four years (not counting the first time we tried dating and broke up). Now, although that seems like a long time to have been together, and most people think that we have spent a considerable amount of time doing the normal relationship day-to-day, we have one thing that sets us apart and changes the 'normal' progression of a relationship...
We were only living together for six months when I got pregnant.
|this changed everything|
From travel plans to social events, our lives shifted immediately from couple mode to family mode, and we lost a lot of steps along the way that I believe are integral to a healthy, developing relationship between any couple. We could have really fought to retain those things, but we didn't, and three years later it was really starting to come to a head.
No socializing with other friends, because someone always had to be home with the baby.
No traveling too far or for too long, and definitely not without our daughter in tow.
No romance because we were too tired or our schedules were too drastically different to be able to.
No talking between just us two because there is always a tiny set of ears listening.
No romance because we were too tired or our schedules were too drastically different to be able to.
No talking between just us two because there is always a tiny set of ears listening.
No sense of calm in the house or out because we spent every moment on the move.
Basically, we had no US.
So we decided to make a change to bring back all the things that we lost when we decided to become parents. And we started with a trip to our favorite stay-cation town, about 45 minutes away in Weston, Missouri. No, it isn't some tropical paradise or romantic seaside destination, but it was the perfect weekend and it gave us the opportunity to recharge our relationship and spend three whole days focusing on remembering the love that we had when we could be selfish.
From brewery tours and romantic dinners, to bar hopping and listening to limericks, Weston gave us the coolest and most entertaining |albeit super short| vacation.. one that we should have taken the year Atti was born. We came home refreshed, relaxed, and reunited as people who weren't just parents but people who were in love and had a relationship outside of that.
The best part is that it doesn't just stop there. We have already planned a trip for this month- a trip down to Phoenix, Arizona, to visit Dan and Lacey for her birthday- again, JUST THE TWO OF US! And we made a promise that during the months that we can't make it out of town for a mini vacation, we will do a few date nights in its place to keep up this momentum.
Now let me add that I don't think that becoming parents automatically ruins your relationship.
HOWEVER
You can ruin your relationship by becoming only parents
and not tending to your relationship as a separate entity in your lives.
Blade and I learned this the hard way, but thankfully not after it was too late.
Here is to stay-cations and short getaways, date nights out and in, and to loving your partner in every role they play in your life. If you don't take time to tend to a garden, its flowers will never bloom.
