The waiting game.

So... we didn't find out last week about whether we will have a Mr. or Ms. The doctor said that it was a little too early for us to get a good reading, which is frustrating since we were waiting for four weeks thinking that we were going to find out. We have an ultrasound scheduled specifically to do the gender reveal before our next full visit- August 4th, two weeks from today. The fact that I have to stick to Bean, or 'the baby', or have to say 'he or she' is killing me. I want to know what we're working with here so I can finally start the name game! We've already decided on a little boys name- Atlas John (the middle name after my grandfather and uncle Dickie), and we have thrown around some girl names but nothing has been solidified yet. Aria, Atticus, Caia.. all pretty names that we've agreed on, but we still can't seem to pin point the right one. I think it is because, subconsciously, we want a little boy first. [Baby, if you are reading this and you happen to be a little girl, know that we love you just the same. It's just that mommy knows how stubborn girls are and daddy will be proven useless because he can't say no to women. Your cousin, Lyra, and I can attest to that] So let the waiting games begin! Two more weeks won't kill me... hopefully.

As for preggo life: things are still doing quite well. We did have a routine check up at last Monday's appointment. The heartbeat is strong and clear, and doc says that mommy looks good. The only thing that concerns me is that I am now 2 pounds lighter than I was at the first appointment (weighing me in at 134 lbs now). The doctor said that I'm healthy, and that it is normal for me to have lost some weight- the change in lifestyle and diet make a huge difference, I'm sure- but that I need to try and start gaining a little bit. I feel like I am eating all the time and I'm not exercising as much as I should be, so I don't understand how my tummy is growing, but my weight is dropping. The next full appointment will be in three weeks, so maybe I will be on track by then.

As of Wednesday, I will officially be half way done with this pregnancy, and less than five months away from meeting our little monster. I'm getting more and more anxious about the baby now a days. I can feel a thud against my lower abdomen (mid way below my belly button) every now and again and it makes me smile instantly. Now that I know that it's the baby, and not some random digestive bubble, I feel like I am constantly holding my breath trying to feel more. I just can't believe how big the baby is and how little I am. Bean should be over 5 inches long now and about 5 or so ounces and finally looks like an itty bitty human and not so much like an alien pea pod. I can't wait to hold him/her in my arms.. it seems like December is just so far away and I am a little kid already talking about Christmas in the middle of summer.

[Week 17.6]

He she?

Yesterday marked my fourth month growing tiny Bean- whom is supposedly about 5 inches long and about 3 ounces now or the size of an avocado- and time is still going by very slowly. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm just anxious to meet the baby or because my tummy hasn't sprouted very much, but it seems like I've been a third of the way through for EVER. I've still got basically no complaints; I feel good 99% of the time and I haven't experienced any of the horrid symptoms that everyone warns you about. I've found that a lot of women don't, and if you do, there are ways to help get around them. There are a couple of things that are new developments however:
-I felt Bean move (I think) for the first time.. it honestly felt like weird gas bubbles, and then like a goldfish fluttering around. It is extremely surreal and now all I do is try to feel more.
-I've also felt, however, what I think is my first round ligament pain on the right side of my abdomen. This morning, I went to roll over to snuggle with Blade and it felt as if someone were holding both ends of my muscle and shredding it and pulling it and JESUS it hurt. I hope that I don't have to deal with that for the next five months.
-I have been getting a bit moody, but mostly just when I'm hungry. So, I get hangry. But it goes away when I fix my craving, thankfully.
-My energy levels have been a bit higher for the most part, except I need some sort of stimulus at all times or my eye lids start to get pretty heavy.

For the most part, things haven't changed much. The best news is that (fingers crossed) we get to find out if little Bean is a Sir or Madam on Monday! It's insane to think that I can finally stop saying he/she/it/baby and be a little more specific. Although Blade and I were leaning towards a boy- I've always liked the idea of having a big brother, younger sister relationship for my kids...not to mention boys are easier- I think that we may be looking at a little princess. There's just this feeling I have when I think about it.. although that may just be my subconscious. Who knows? We will find out in a couple of days!!!

The bump is growing! Just not very fast (which hopefully means no tiger stripes for mommy).

But I can no longer see my bagina.... yes, I said bagina.

Outside of Bean Town:

We have a new addition to the family. A new-old addition actually; Isis, Blade's family cat, has come to live with us. She is about 11 years old, a beautiful Siamese that loves to nap and head bump, and her and Puff have a hate/less hate relationship. She already landed a claw on the end of his nose, but that doesn't stop him from stalking her around the house. Slowly but surely, though, she is coming around. I caught them sleeping less than a foot from each other on the chaise. Soon enough they will be the best of friends.

Also, I am happy to say that I have finally worked out a deal with my student loans so I will be able to apply for financial aid again in about six months. That means that I will become a mommy and start back at school around the same time! I love where my life is heading now- I'm moving forward with my accomplishments, have established a good position at my current job, I've never been happier in a relationship in my life, and I feel all around better about things. Baby Bean, in a way, has saved my life. I will be repaying the debt for the rest of his/her life.

Keep hoping for Monday!

(Week 16:2)