These people are vampires.

MORE BLOOD WORK?!?! I didn't think I had any left in me after Friday's visit. Just two vials this time, but sheesh... I'm running low here. Today has been the most exciting of my pregnancy so far: we had the first sonogram and got to see our little Bean (which is a very fitting name, as you can see). The blob on the left is supposedly the head, followed around to the right by the rest of the body. Just the size of a raspberry this week, but adorable all the same. Our next appointment will be in four weeks, which lands in the heavenly trimester, and hopefully we will get another peek at our little monster.

I think today, I will start taking those baby bump pictures. I haven't been feeling very pretty lately, so I've been pushing it off- not to mention, there's not much to see- but it seems fitting that if we can show little Bean off to the world on the inside, I should start documenting the outside. I feel as if I'm going to look a little bigger than I should considering we had Cheesecake Factory last night (and the leftovers today), but at least people won't think I'm fat! Ha!

On a serious note, I am starting to get more and more excited about the bug; I think reality is starting to kick in, especially with seeing the sonogram and heartbeat. It took Dr. Kassar a minute to find Bean in the first place because he/she is sitting so low (right above my pelvic bone), but it seemed like an eternity looking at the blank screen when I expected to immediately spot the dot. And the heartbeat, because Bean is so tiny, barely shows up, which practically made mine stop not being able to hear anything at first. I haven't even given birth and I'm already worried about the baby... maybe I really am fit to be a mommy. 

I can't wait.

(Week 8:6)

Tuberculosis and sonograms.

The weeks are not flying by as fast as I would hope they would, and I would be lying to you if I said that I've been too busy to post in the past two weeks, but alas.... I am just exhausted. I don't know really when it happened, but lately I feel as if all of the energy has left my body. I've turned into a bit of a couch potato and I'm not too proud of it. So starting last night, I cleaned house, did laundry and my nails- from now on I have to do something productive before I plant it in front of the television; it will be practice for Bean- you have to earn your rewards (and in my case, try not to gain a million pounds).

Well first thing's first: I had my first half of my first prenatal appointment yesterday. Another cup to pee in, they took my blood pressure- which is good and healthy- and then the bad stuff. They gave me the TB shot in my arm, which they check on Monday to get the results, and then took seven vials of blood. SEVEN VIALS.. they are vampires. The benefit of all this, is that I got the second half of the prenatal appointment changed to Monday as well, so we don't have to wait another two weeks to hear Bean's heartbeat!! I'm more excited for that than anything right now; I think that it will help this become more of a reality than just a thought right now.

As for me, I'm still feeling alright. The bloating and slowed digestive tract is a real pain in the ass (literally) and the headaches keep coming and going, but still no morning sickness. I did make the horrid mistake of taking my prenatal vitamin on an empty stomach, however. Let's just say that I found a new color of vomit and it took a good 24 hours to feel like I was back on solid ground. Fatigue comes and goes, coming more than going lately, and I just wish like I felt like myself again. But I have about 4 more weeks of hell before the glory of the second trimester comes along (hopefully) so I will just have a grin and bear it. In the mean time I will be focusing on working hard, saving money, and spending some baby-moon time with Blade... we both can't wait to see Bean :)

(PS on a not so happy note, Mocha passed away last week. She was such a good pup, I know Mom and I will miss her a lot. RIP pretty girl.)

(Week 8:4)

Cheese with that wine.

Another day in pregnant paradise. I still have yet to undergo any severe symptoms, besides feeling like a hot air balloon all the time. I think, with the help of an e-cigarette with minimal nicotine, I have kicked the extreme urge to smoke; I feel the same way about drinking, although the coffee habit has been hard to over come. I have my allotted amount (two cups max) almost every day but wish I could have more to kill the sluggish feeling that hits me around 6 or 7pm. But I will have to stick to decaf and chamomile tea until Bean gets here.

Today was a nice day off. Spent the morning hanging around the house and pinning baby stuff for the first couple hours, and then Vikki came and picked me up for a girls day. It was really refreshing and much needed to walk around Westport thrift stores, getting coffee and dinner, being able to act like a normal person. I even had a glass of wine with dinner! Maybe the next couple months won't be so hard on my sanity after all.

In the mean time, I've found myself feeling less sexy and more like a fat cow. I made extra effort today to do my makeup and hair, dress up a little (with a shirt that is loose enough that I wasn't completely self conscious the entire day, although after dinner my pants fit a little too well), and try to look like I'm not pregnant. It worked, almost entirely, until I got home and the bloating set in. Once I changed into my pjs and hopped onto the couch, I felt like I gained fifty pounds. As odd as it sounds, I really wish that I could get that baby belly in right now so at least I can look the way I feel without being so embarrassed about it... right now I feel like I just look like I've let myself go.

They say that you feel like shit the first trimester because the second feels like heaven... and I can't wait for heaven, because this has got to be close to hell. Hurry it up Bean!

(Week 6:2)